Why is it we believe in stupid, childish worlds that don’t exist sometimes? That’s the problem when imagination starts taking over reason and we get blinded from reality. It’s that moment in which you start taking a trip into the most fantastic possibilities, where we picture our lives as fairy tales and decide to stay in this magical and happy world without any regards or considerations of what happens when you get taken out of it. The rough come back strikes out probably as something worse than the shock of entering the world for the first time, the time when you get thrown out from the safeness of your mother’s womb, and find yourself alone and helpless, exposed. A shock for most of us, but a simple reality that we just didn’t want to see, and usually blame other people for, instead of seeing that the real fault for this pain is ours. We are the only ones with the capacity to expose ourselves in this way, we chose if we get hurt or not. Even though I feel like I’m the only one these kinds of things happen to, I know there are thousands, if not all people, going through the same thing as me.
Personally, I am one of those people who thinks, has control over every inch of my soul, thought, or any kind of mind-like process. Now, what happens is, we always have that little part of us which is uncontrollable. The “feeling” part (to make it sound less corny calling it “the heart”) is as unpredictable as Natural Disasters, and when it hits you, it usually creates a lot of chaos. And before you can get into the analyzing part of the equation, it has already taken over you. I can but assume, we begin the ride without even knowing we’re on one. And once you’re in the speeding car, there are many choices you can make, but I’ll highlight the following, for they are the most usual ones we think of (remember, we are somehow blinded, and for that reason it is highly unlikely we see no more than these):
- Jump out of the moving vehicle (Which will hurt, but you sure won’t crash)
- Wait until it crashes (It will hurt a lot, and believe me, resurrection in love matters is very hard)
- Hope that it won’t crash and will soon change its course to the sky, and you’ll be able to fly as high as you want (usually doesn’t work out cause you already know that it will, so it’s only applicable if you already know the outcome of the situation)
Now, foolishly, most of us hope for the third one (I’ve done it myself a couple of times). Believe me, as much as it sounds wonderful, romantic, and completely irresistible, when you don’t know how much you can rely on your wings, there’s a really long and hard fall awaiting (hopefully you understand the analogy, cause I won’t get into further explaining). My question is, why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we always hope that things will change? Why do we expose ourselves like this and think that maybe, someday, something magical will happen where there’s no way it can?
Well, I can only speak for myself, and I will say, at this particular time, and in this particular ride I choose not to expect, believe, or dare think there’s a world of wonder waiting for me on the other side. And I also choose to jump out of the car before it crashes. The problem is not me facing the fact, is my heart and soul that have to. And they are like little kids controlled by “Mama Mind” and “Papa Reason”, who just want to wander off into adventures without my mind’s and reason’s permission. And they often enter mystical and fantastic villages of happiness and joy. And that’s where the problem lies.
And this does not mean you should act only listening to reason and logic at all times, and that love and companionship doesn’t exist. Nor that you’ll never find the world of wonder and magic we all long for, not at all! I’m just saying that in this particular opportunity that has been given to me, I end up losing BIG TIME! And that I am reasonably acknowledging that not every story is a fairy tale, and that I’ll get hurt if I continue on this ride. I don’t plan to wait forever to see where it takes me; I’d rather look elsewhere for my “part time lover and full time friend”. And I’m not saying I regret this ride, or that I wish I didn’t have it. The truth is, I love it way too much, and I know the fall would be a hard one if I chose to continue. I loved it while it lasted, I will always remember it, but I choose to get off before it hurts me more. I guess I’ll just have to wait for my next ride. Who knows? Maybe next time I’ll get to travel through the Milky Way, and stay in some unnamed planet forever. The only thing I'm certain of is that if this ride I was just on, was super awesome and exceptionally amazing, I can only assume that the next one will be indescribable.
