Why are there moments in life when you just seem to fuck up everything you have, and everything you are...
It would seem I'd have the answer to that, being that I am really good at fucking up everything good that comes in my way, but still I can't find the answer. I know that the answer is within, but I am running out of strengh to look for it and I'm sure I've run out of nice things to say, and somehow lost hope on believing that being positive will help my cause. I guess it is just a moment in life in which I have to face change... What kind of change, only time will tell, but I really need to do something againts this "whateverness" that's killing me softly inside, quietly, and without any notice...
And the sad thing is, it's not only killing me, but everything I love.
I see pictures of who I was before, and sadly I realize I'm not too "ok" about who I am right now. I see that girl I was before, and wonder if I'll ever find her again. The girl who had fun. How could I have lost her. When did I replace her with this that I've become?
The only answer I can come up with is that I gave up on myself a long time ago. Do I have the strengh to believe in me again? Who knows.
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